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Thread: Funny Football Quotes

  1. #1
    like fuck Bhoys Dont Cry's Avatar
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    Default Funny Football Quotes

    "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - MARK VIDUKA

    "I just felt that the whole night, the conditions and taking everything into consideration and everything being equal, and everything is equal, we should have got something from the game - but we didn't." - JOHN BARNES

    "The boss keeps those things up his sleeve, close to his chest" - CRAIG BURLEY

    "The Brazilians aren't as good as they used to be, or as they are now." - KENNY DALGLISH (what's that, Kenny?)

    "He'd no alternative but to make a needless tackle." - PAUL ELLIOTT

    "Last night,we were the best team on the day." - ROY AITKEN

    "We're calling him the young player of the year, but he's only 20 years old." - ALAN MCINALLY

    "Mick McCarthy will have to replace Cascarino because he's quickly running out of legs." - MARK LAWRENSON

    "When Celtic get an opportunity to go above Zombies they've got to jump at it with both hands." - ALAN MULLERY

    "I predicted in August that Celtic would reach the final. On the eve of that final I stand by that prediction." - ARCHIE MACPHERSON

    "It's been seventeen years since Celtic first won this competition, and after tonight it could be 18." - RODDY FORSYTH

    "The club has literally exploded." - IAN WRIGHT

    "I'm five short [of the Arsenal goalscoring record] - not that I'm counting." - IAN WRIGHT

    "It's the carrot at the end of the rainbow" - DANNY McGRAIN added 07/05/01

    "It's a Dutch invention, but we started it in Scotland." - ANDY ROXBURGH

    "I strongly feel that the only difference between the two teams were the goals that England scored." - CRAIG BROWN

    "They had a dozen corners, maybe 12 - I'm guessing." - CRAIG BROWN

    "Souness gave Fleck a second chance and he grabbed it with both feet." - JAMES SANDERSON

    "Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." - TOM PERRIE

    "We ended up playing football, and that's not our style." - ALEX MacDONALD

    "Our first goal was pure textile." - JOHN LAMBIE

    "Hagi is a brilliant player, but we're not going to get psychedelic over him" - ANDY ROXBURGH

    "I'm definitely maybe going to play Sturrock." -JIM McLEAN

    "We can beat anyone on our day - so long as we score." -ALEX TOTTEN

    "We had enough chances to win this game, in fact we did win." -ALEX SMITH

    "John Brown was on the dole two years ago working as a baker in Inverness." - COMMENTATOR

    "Hearts are now playing with a five man back four." - ALAN MCINALLY

    "Trevor Steven, who until recently was a former Zombies player..." - RADIO 4

    "Jim McLean, one of the few managers who can physically lift a side." - ARTHUR MONTFORD

    "I'm not convinced that Scotland will play a typically English game." - GARETH SOUTHGATE

    "The lads ran their socks into the ground." - ALEX FERGUSON

    "Nowhere in Europe, especially the world..." - ALEX FERGUSON

    "If we can play like that every week we'll get some level of consistency." - ALEX FERGUSON

    "He knew exactly what was behind him there...which was nothing" - ANDY GRAY

    "The only other game on in Scotland today was in England" - MALCOLM WILSON

    "There'll be more football in a moment, but first we've got highlights of the Scottish League Cup" - GARY NEWBON

    "The Scots are really knocking it about to some tune" - ALISTAIR ALEXANDER

    "I think John Burridge eats cassettes before going out on the park" - GORDON McQUEEN

    "Football's not like an electric light - you can't just flick the button and change from slow to quick." - JOHN GREIG

    "I've lost count of the times I've played in that fixture. Each one was a memorable occasion." - TREVOR STEVEN

    "We keep kicking ourselves in the foot" - RAY WILKINS

    "The referee has a reputation for trying to make a name for himself." - GRAEME SOUNESS

    "He [Brian Laudrup] wasn't just facing one defender -- he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well." TREVOR STEVEN

    "Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve." - JOHN GREIG

    "The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath." - TERRY BUTCHER

    "If we'd won, it would have meant an historic double-treble. But we weren't even thinking about that." - WALTER SMITH

    "The main thing in a cup tie is to get through." - WALTER SMITH

    "I never predict anything, and I never will." - PAUL GASCOIGNE

    "I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable" - PAUL GASCOIGNE

    "If Gabriel Amato's shot had gone in, the result could have been different" - GIOVANNI VAN BRONCKHORST

    "You cannot guarantee a thing in this game. All you can guarantee is disapointment." - GRAEME SOUNESS

    "He's captain of Zombies and that's one of the reasons he's captain." - WALTER SMITH




  2. #2

    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Brilliant.

  3. #3
    I live for Glasgow Celtic clagan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    john brown was on the dole 2 years ago working as a banker in inverness was my favourite

  4. #4
    oh fuck yer crown alsybhoy's Avatar
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    i live in grangemouth ,but im from bo`ness

    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    hahahahahaha brill!!!!
    god will have the final say,when your day of judgment comes!

  5. #5
    like fuck Bhoys Dont Cry's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
    Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

    Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
    Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

  6. #6
    Celtic Boys Club Dempsey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    REPORTER: gordon can we have a quick word
    WGS: velocity

    ha ha, even dempsey can maketh "jokes"

  7. #7
    We Will Remember ElPaso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    "Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now ... but here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"

    "He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50......he's on the 40......he's on the 30....... he's on the ground".

    "Seán Óg Ó hAilpín.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold".

    "Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation".

    "Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery".

  8. #8
    Celtic Legend niall's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by ElPaso View Post
    "Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery".
    absolute quality
    It's not the creed or nationality that counts, it's the man himself

    Celtic - more than just a club

    1312

    Oh, Leah is a slapper, she wears a pushup bra, and when she shags McGregor, she thinks of Wanyama

  9. #9
    Fuck The Establishment! Irish_And_Proud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by ElPaso View Post
    "Pat Fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now ... but here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ...... I've seen it all now, a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"

    "He grabs the sliotar, he's on the 50......he's on the 40......he's on the 30....... he's on the ground".

    "Seán Óg Ó hAilpín.... his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold".

    "Teddy McCarthy to John McCarthy, no relation, John McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation".

    "Colin Corkery on the 45 lets go with the right boot. Its over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery".
    Everyone of them is brilliant. Keep 'em coming ElPaso, quality mate.
    They come from bonnie Scotland,
    But they bow to Englands crown,
    They really are a mixed up bunch,
    They let their country down,
    They're racists,thugs and bigots,
    And we all know their name,
    They're fans of Glasgow Rangers
    And they're known as Scotlands Shame.

  10. #10
    We Will Remember ElPaso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by niall View Post
    absolute quality
    hahaha...ridiculous stuff...

    the mccarthy 'still no relation' is genius

  11. #11
    Fuck The Establishment! Irish_And_Proud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by ElPaso View Post
    hahaha...ridiculous stuff...

    the mccarthy 'still no relation' is genius
    My favourite was

    He's on the 50, on the 40, on the 30, on the ground.

  12. #12
    We Will Remember ElPaso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    "1-5 to 0-8. Well from Lapland to the Antartic that's level scores in any man's language"

    "Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide......and the dog lost as well."

    "Sean Óg o Hailpín....his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold. "


  13. #13
    Fuck The Establishment! Irish_And_Proud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by ElPaso View Post
    "1-5 to 0-8. Well from Lapland to the Antartic that's level scores in any man's language"

    "Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide......and the dog lost as well."

    "Sean Óg o Hailpín....his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold. "

    pmsl at that one.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    “We will not make any excuses for the conditions. They are the same for both teams”
    - Ruud Gullit, before European match in Tromso

    “It should never have been played. From the start the conditions were impossible. We had to play into the blizzard for 45 minutes with the snow straight in our eyes so we couldn’t see at all”
    -Ruud Gullit 90 minutes later

    “And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.”
    -Ian Dark

    “Celtic were at one time nine points ahead, but somewhere along the road, their ship went off the rails.”
    -Richard Park

    “I don’t think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona.”
    -Kevin Keegan
    Celtic O/ --------- \O Celtic
    Come on you bhoys in green O/ ---------- \O Come on you bhoys in green
    Glasgows Green and White O/ ----------- \O Glasgows Green and White

  15. #15
    Celtic Legend niall's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by ElPaso View Post
    "1-5 to 0-8. Well from Lapland to the Antartic that's level scores in any man's language"

    "Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar, I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal, the dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide......and the dog lost as well."

    "Sean Óg o Hailpín....his father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold. "

    theyre from michael o'muireteagh(sp) arent they

  16. #16
    We Will Remember ElPaso's Avatar
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    Default Re: Funny Football Quotes

    Quote Originally Posted by niall View Post
    theyre from michael o'muireteagh(sp) arent they
    yes niall. he just rambles them out..off the cuff

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